prom was a blast. sparks were in the air again between me and jesse, but it didn't last long. i thought it would be a bad idea if we started something serious again right before college, and that came back to bite me in the ass. right after we agreed not to start anything, he goes off and gets himself a girlfriend, wtf? i was so angry with him. what's the difference between me and him dating and him and the new girlfriend? so for te whole month of may we were at it like cats and dogs. i finally started to realize that maybe he wasn't the one for me, but my heart told me differently. his girlfriend went away for a few weeks and my jesse was back. we had fun together, but maybe alittle to much fun, which made him realized that he had screwed up. i few weeks later they were over and me and him were back on our rocky, whindy road. mid july was the best. i was with the person that i loved more than anything in the world, college was about to start and i was care-free. but then school started. he went to UofL and i stayed in Vine Grove. Things seemed to be going really good, but that one day, everything just disappeared. now i'm back on my own crazy road, trying to figure things out again.
where do i go from here. some days it seems like the end of the world. i don't want to get out of bed or talk to anyone, but then other days i can't wait to start a new day. i guess i'll never understand how people say they love someone, but aren't with them.
i grew up in a household were everything was almost perfect. my parents happily married and the only arguments were over who changes the channel. the typical older sibling that would pick on you one day, but the days when you need them, they were your best friend. falling in love was like a fairy tale to me, something seen on disney movies; the princess and her prince. i could never understand how someone could be unfaithful to the person they loved. to me, love is the one thing to cherish with everything you have, why ruin that for a simple kiss or a random fuck? and maybe i'll never know why people fuck up a good thing.
ugh, i'm done rambling.
- Mood:
numb
FAVORITE. MMM SUNSHINE.
- Mood:
drained
- Mood:
depressed
- Mood: exhausted
thanks for throwing my heart away.
the end.
Me and Jesse are on "break"(whatever the fuck that means).For almost the past month, we've kinda been on eachother's last nerve, but I want to fix things. And all he wants to do is hang out with his friends. He just confuses me all of the time. I'm just not sure how much longer I can take this. I want to be with him. But right now, he wants his space. This whole situation is bullshit. I really don't understand why he can't spend one day out of the week with me. I'm his fucking girlfriend, I should mean something more to him than the way he's been making me feel. This is almost like the same shit that happened in September, minus, i broke up with him. I hate to say this, but it seems that ever since he's started hanging out with Alex, things been going down hill for us. I really can't stand Alex, maybe about 30% of the time, he's okay, but that other 70% of the time, he's annoying. Everything is just so confusing right now and my mind is racing with thousands of thoughts every second. I'm lost.
- Mood:
confused
1. Did you fall in love with someone?
Yes and it's the most wonderful thing is the world.
2. Have you had your birthday?
Yeah.
3. Did you go to church?
Nope.
4. Did you cry alot?
Not really. Maybe a week or so out of the year.
5. Did you go on a diet?
Yeah, but they wouldn't last long. haha.
6. Did you pull all nighters?
Yes sir.
7. Starbucks much?
Average.
9. Did you go Camping?
Not really. Sleeping in the backyard or in a car doesn't really count. haha.
10.Were you a shopaholic?
Mhmm. But I'm not as bad as Cristene.
11. Met someone special?
Yes. Three amazing boys that made me have the best fall break ever.
12. Travel?
Went to VA for a wedding.
13. Go Snowboarding?
Nope.
14. What are you thinking about right now?
I'm thinking about the whole past year in general and how much things have changed,whether it was for the good or the bad. I'm also changed, but I think it was for the better.
15. Where you the huggie or the hugged?
Both.
16. Slept in someone elses bed?
Hahah. Yes.
17. Loaned out money?
Yeah. Probably over $500 over the whole year.
18. Gotten in a car accident?
No.
19. Gone over your cell phone bill?
Oh yes. Damn text messages.
20. Done something you regret?
Yeah, but everything worked out in the end.
Last.
21. Last Person you hugged?
Jesse.
22. Last Person to call you?
Sarah.
23. Who was the last person you danced with?
Cristene. She's my dancin' buddy.
24. Who did you last yell at?
My dad cos he was eing annoying.
Ten Facts.
25. Hometown?
Ft. Irwin, Ca; Tanzfleck, Germany; Ft. Knox, Kyl; Vine Grove, Ky. That's life as an army brat.
26. Natural hair color?
Light brown, when I was born till age seven, then Medium Brown.
27. Initials?
A.M.B
28. Hair style?
Depends on the mood I'm in, down & straight; down & wavey; curled; or up.
29. Eye color?
Brown.
30. Height?
5'7"
31. Pets?
Dog - Max.
32. Mood?
Calm.
33. Where would you rather be?
No where.
34. Last thing you drank?
Milk .
Love Life.
35. Have you ever been in love?
I am right now.
36. Do you believe in love?
I sure do.
37. Why did your last relationship fail?
Feelings faded, people change.
38. Have you ever been heartbroken?
Yes.
39. Have you ever broke anybody's heart?
Yeah. It's not a good feeling.
40. Have you ever fallen for your best friend?
Yes and I'm still falling.
41. Ever loved someone but never told them?
Nope. Just took me a while to say it.
42. Are you afraid of commitment?
No.If your afraid of commitment, then your not ready to be in a relationship.
43. Have you had more than 5 different serious relationships?
Nope.
Emotions.
44. Are you missing someone right now?
Yeah. My Sharidan.
45. Are you happy?
Very.
46. Are you eating anything?
What does that have to do with emotions?
47. Do you like someone right now?
More like love.
The Big Question
48. Was 2006 a good year?
Yes. Even thought I had some rough spots, it was still a great year and I wouldn't change anything. I'm ending this year on a good note, as every year should be.
Good-Bye.
- Mood:
calm
:[
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
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- Mood: drained
- Mood:
cold
Saturday.
- Mood:
happy
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